Helping Your Child Get Back On Track

To all parents, teachers and child advocates out there!

Here's something that you may find useful before your child goes back to school soon.

This article was published on American Chronicle.

Helping Your Child Get Back on Track
Joy Avelino-Filipovic
January 05, 2010

Now that the holiday season frenzy is over, after getting yourself ginger up with home decoration, shopping, cooking, planning your family winter skiing holiday, the next thing that you wouldn't even dare to think about is to go back to the old grind, isn't it?

The thought of coming back to a desk with high pile of papers, driving your kids back to school in an early morning traffic rush and beating deadlines at the office are not only akin to being visited by your Christmas past but thoughts that you wouldn't even want to muse about in the midst of your relaxed family bonding this holiday season. Adults are not the only ones feeling the jitters of the first week back to the old routine mode.

Your child feels the same way too.

This is why some children sometimes revert to the adjustment period stage exhibiting episodes of crying, whining, temper tantrums and clinging when they go back to school. Children spent three long weeks or even more with parents at home during the holiday break. From the first day of their Christmas vacation ending to its last day, children have adapted new set of I-can-do-what-I-want-to-do-at-home routine. This includes, staying up late, frequent play dates, watching late night TV shows or DVD, skipping afternoon naps, getting up at ten, tagging along with mom on a shopping spree and other similar free wheeling activities.

Now that classes have just started or perhaps to some are about to start next week, getting back your child on track may be an onerous attempt like pulling a tugboat with bare hands. To make your home-school transition in a smooth fashion, here are a few tips that can make wonders and less stressful for you in dealing with your child's post holiday struggles.

1. Psych Up Your Child Gradually. Inform your child that holiday season will be over after the New Year. Thereby, he'll be going back to school and doing the same old routine of getting up early and being picked up in the afternoon just like before Christmas. Whether your child understands the concept or not, it doesn't matter as long as you made him informed and reminded about the series of events that will come his way soon.

2.Establish the Old Routine Few Days After Christmas: It doesn't matter whether it's few days after Christmas or few days after the New Year for as long as you start putting your child to bed early-instead of ten in the evening, try nine then move down to eight ( if that was his ideal bedtime.) Slowly, his body gets to be readjusted to new habits gradually and will get accustomed to it before he goes back to school. By the same token, if waking up your child early could post as a problem, try getting him up the usual time he wakes up before he goes to school. Remember that the earlier you put him to bed, the more chances he gets the ample 8 hour sleep.

3. Do Your Bedtime Story Earlier: If your child can't sleep without your mom-child-story-bonding-time, then adjust your bedtime story earlier. This would entail an early adjustment of your household routine such as making dinner, tidying up the kitchen and putting on his pajamas then accentuate the end of the day with a bedtime story before tucking him into bed.

4. Control Late Night TV Viewing: Say goodbye to late night cartoons, DVDs or computer games. Staring on the TV screen or computer monitors for a long time has harmful effects on children. According to Dr. Sigman, a psychologist who studied on the effects of television watching on children, "Excessive TV viewing may cause physical, cognitive and educational damage later on."Ergo, limit your child's TV viewing in the afternoon for one to two hours. Don't deprive him of his pleasure to watch instead monitor TV watching strictly.

5. Start Doing School Work Piece by Piece: Some schools give homework or essays about a recount of their Christmas holidays. Some don't. If your child's school sent some homework, you may start doing it one piece at a time. There's no point in putting pressure on the child to accomplish everything all in one go. Few days after Christmas or New Year are still part of their holiday.

So, let your child set one foot in winter wonderland and the other foot in the school door.The point being here is to make them do their homework on a scheduled time consistently while enjoying the rest of the holiday season. Whether answering pages of workbooks, writing essays, book reports or coloring pages, as long as these tasks are done while on vacation religiously-at least for an hour, you'll see that redirecting your child's mind to go back to school won't be a Herculean task after all.

6. Prep Him Up The Night Before:Don't forget to give your child a plethora of encouragement anchored to the idea that school is fun. Cheer him up with the assurance that his classmates and favorite teachers are there waiting for him. You may entice him to tell his friends at school about his wonderful holiday skiing trip, memorable time with grandparents, presents he got from Santa or the tallest snowman he ever built. Providing a feeling of excitement to your child a night before the first day of school after the holiday break will evoke a more positive disposition which consequently will make your child look forward to go to school.

Spending the holiday season is such an invigorating respite from the endless humdrum of daily work-home routine schedule. The sad thing is, in as much as you would wish that the alignment of stars will be in your favor bringing no end to those blissful moments of vacation, you'll always reach your vacation's last day, no matter what. In this case, you might as well get yourself armed to the teeth and accept the fact that holiday is over.

That's when reality bites.

NEW LIFE BEGINS TODAY

Ten seconds before the clock turns to twelve midnight was the last few seconds
of the lives we left behind in 2009. Today, the first day of January 2010 is a new beginning .

Sticking- post –it- notes of New Year's resolution list on our computer monitors, sporting a 2010 new look and realigning priorities for the next twelve months are most likely what we set our minds to do. As each day passes by, we may falter or revert to our old habits and ways.

But each day is a new day. And nobody stops us to redo what we committed to change all over again.

Let's all start this year bustling with a mind filled with optimism, new aspirations, hopes, promises and dreams for this year.

Welcome to 2010!

Red for Me….What's Yours?

It's good to be back home in the blog world. I know I haven't been a loyal blogger lately.
An avalanche of work at school, Croatian language proficiency test, editing my manuscript and other personal issues among others are just a few of a number of nerve-racking hurdles that kept me engrossed and overwrought for the past months. Oh and did I mention about badminton? Yes, my newly found passion. It keeps me fit and a good stress reliever. Whenever I imagine the faces of obnoxious people in my mind while I smash the shuttlecock( odd name for a badmintno ball, isn't it?) boy, that feels so good.

However, there's no excuse for my being slack. My bad! I promise to make it up to you but please don't mention it to Santa as I need my Christmas presents this year badly.

Every Christmas whether we admit it or not, we unmindfully paint a shade of color of our own personal Christmas. With our disposition, moods, temperament, feelings and lifestyles we create an intimate distinct hue that suits our past, present and future. From there, we envision a Christmas theme for ourselves. With our chosen color, we whirl around the color based on our disposition and spirit for Christmas.

Some people think that Christmas has always a constant generic color for everyone.

Not to all.

For those people who anticipate the magic of the occasion, ginger up to decorate the house with Christmas trimmings in advance and making a list of friends to give presents to or those who frenetically count the days before Christmas- are people who paint their Christmases red. As red symbolizes love, the intensity of love resonates to people who chose red evidently share genuine sweet smiles, hugs and handshakes.

Choosers of green color pin hopes in their hearts that Christmas would bring promises of the future.
A hope for healing for emotional distressed or physical ailment. A hope for a better job. A hope to renew broken relationships or a chance to turn a new leaf.

But there's a caveat for green choosers. The green in extreme can be associated with the bad side. So be careful about that. Remember the Grinch's color is green. If you start noticing that you start being grouchy this Christmas with your family members, co-workers down to the store cashier, or giving recycled gifts to friends ( so as not to spend a penny), then you're qualified to print a business card with your name and underneath a title that says " The Grinch Who Stole Christmas".

Those who claim that they have a blue Christmas are those who you need to evade from -if you don't want to contract the blue Christmas fever ( at least better than Swine Fever this year.) People who are emotionally down, unhappy, depressed or melancholic can influence you in a way with your red cheery Christmas mood. Indeed, misery loves company. It's inevitable that we all feel lugubrious at this time of the year especially when musing over our sad past. But Christmas is a joyful celebration of God's goodness to us. And dwelling on our negative feelings can make you feel down or worse still, can pass on the negative energy to the person next to you.

Meeting people who just shrug shoulders and roll their eyes when asked about their Christmas wish and respond with a cold nonchalant "whatever" must have culled white as their favorite color for Christmas. White is known for neutrality, purity and cleanliness. Don't ever think that these people are not into Christmas, as white symbolizes the immaculate color of snow.

Choosing your personal color for your own Christmas aura is entirely up to you. We're the painters, the one holding the paint brush and choosing the color scheme we want to blend for our own Christmas canvas. There's a wide variety of color spectrum to choose from- turning dark red to light or light green with a shade of white is a creative way to play with our own Christmas colors. Do whatever suits you. You can even wear a color that harmonizes with your mood at the moment, if you want. Just don't forget to match it with christmasy bling bling. Which ever way you want it, feel free to do it.

However, if you're scrimping and saving this Christmas due to the current recession, don't ask me about that particular Christmas color....... because I think it's black.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to all!

"Mama, I Don't Want to Go to School! "

Sounds familiar? I’m sure that you may have heard this objection before either from your own child or from your distraught friends who may have shared their woes and blues about their problem-their child’s refusal to go back to school.
You may be wondering why children utter the unwelcomed infamous “ Mama, I don’t want to go to school” line, don’t you?

Well, in a child’s preschool life, there will always be a point in time when he’ll cry, “Mama, I don’t want to go to school!” either during the early part, middle or towards the end of the school year. I know that this strong reaction from preschoolers is most dreaded by all moms. Since this means that more clinging around your legs, sudden stomach or head ache, moodiness, non-compliance and temper tantrums become your everyday struggle.

Not to mention that this also purports that you kiss your self pampering days, coffee meetings with friends, doing household chores goodbye. What a nightmare! Isn’t it?
But if you come to think of it, why do children really refuse to go back to school? Here’s my two cents worth.

A child who exhibits any of the behaviors mentioned previously is showing stress signals caused by a period of anxiety– a stage considered normal for preschoolers entering kindergarten schools. However, a child in crisis at this phase must not be ignored but be well attended to. Moms and Dads should look into the following possible reasons why these behaviors occur.

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  Spending time at home longer than necessary: When the child is ill, of course, it’s inevitable to keep your child at home until he feels much better. However, prolonged staying at home has its downside too. Your child adapts to new routine and gets comfortable with doing activities with moms at home. Naturally, your child will refuse to go back to school as he got used to his daily home routine. By the same token as refusal to go to school often manifest during long school breaks such as Christmas and Spring Holiday due to the same reason.


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  Longing for Feeling of Belongingness: During the beginning of school year, meeting new faces can be intimidating for a young child. This can illicit reasonable fear to be in the midst of children whom your child does not even know. Developing friendship and connection with other children in class takes time and a gradual process. When your child has not reached that stage yet, he may feel a little bit alienated and refuses to go to school. However, let me give you a word of caveat, once your child gains friendship and camaraderie among his peers, you will be confronted with questions like how come there’s no school during weekends-now, that’s a different story.


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  Changes in family dynamics: Your child may exhibit some kind of maladjustment behavior when there are changes in your family set up such as moving to a new place, travelling to a far place for a long period of time, divorce, death of a family member or a sick member. Considering all these, he may show distressed signs but definitively temporary.


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  Child’s physical condition: When your child is sick with the slightest fever or just coming down with a flu, colds and coughs, these factors are a good yardstick why your child cries without any apparent reason or hesitant to go to school. Remember that preschool children can not still articulate how they exactly feel. Don’t expect them to say “ Mom, I think I’m coming down with a flu, can’t go to school today. Can you please give me a paracetamol?” Try to check him out before he gets off the car or better yet, you may ask your child’s teacher to do that as well.
  
  To beat the “Mama I don’t want to go to school” syndrome, here are some few tips that could make you spend your life easier, stress and worry free when dealing with your preschool child.
  Don’t keep your child at home longer than necessary. The longer your child stays at home, the harder it is for him to return back to school.
  Check your child from time to time. Symptoms like runny nose, congested nose and slight increase of temperature, watery eyes, diarrhea, weakness can make your child lose interest in going to school.
  Collaborate with your child’s school teacher. Present your situation with the school professionals. They can evaluate your situation objectively and give you some helpful advices on how to resolve the problem. Don’t forget that it will benefit you more if you do not withhold any vital information about your current family set-up.
  Inquire about some potential bullying problems. Bullying not only in the form of aggression but includes teasing, humiliation, intimidation or name calling may result to socially withdrawn, anxious and depressed child. In this case, a child experiencing bullying, would not find school appealing.
  
  Every parent beset with the challenge of a preschool child refusing to go to school undergoes a nerve-wracking experience that makes you feel highly agitated, scared and on the brink of losing your mind. If a refusal to go to school situation arises at any point, remember to stay calm and assess the situation thoroughly. Find out the real cause of the behavior. More importantly, never give up school just because your child doesn’t want to go to school. If you concede, your child wins the battle over you. Be patient and determined and keep on trying. To make you convince your child go to school, always remember what Peter Kline, an American Professor said, “School is the best party in town”.

If you don’t go, you’ll miss the fun.

BACK TO LIFE

No, I wasn't in any way resuscitated and restored back to life-Thank goodness!

But pretty close- if I had not taken a 5 week holiday back home in the Philippines, I would have been writing here about that too. The challenges of my work, writing and hectic lined up of scheduled activities in the past months and other personal issues were too unbearable at some point. My allergies, asthma, flu and cough and colds became my best friends that I've spent so much bonding with for quite sometime- a time when I'd wouldn't even dared to say the phrase "best friends forever".

My trip to the Philippines was awesome. The 20 hour long haul flight didn't seem to matter with all the pump of adrenalin rush of excitement inside me to see my family once again. Moreover, I was hell bent to break away from the humdrum daily routine of work-home then work again and short weekend respite kind of schedule every single day. The pressure of daily grind took a heavy toll on me.

Seeing the light of day hearing the cockcrowing sound and mild tropical breeze touching my skin instantly reminded me – that I was home. Home is always where your heart is just like what they say. And it will always stay that way.

Having a great time with my family dinning out, playing badminton, shopping here and more shopping there may seem common Sunday family activities. But not for somebody like me who do not see her family on a regular basis.

I have often asked if we went sight seeing. The answer is no, my husband and I purposely didn't do that as we preferred to spend more time catching up with more stories funny ones, gossips, goofing around and updated them with our life happenings in Croatia. The travel experience is simple, unfettering and reminded me not only to spell out again the five letter word R-E-L-A-X but more like the real meaning of it. It was priceless.

I couldn't stop hearing the tune of "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rae playing in my mind.

"Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead and let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
You go ahead and let your hair down
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow."

On the way back to Croatia, stopping by Amsterdam Airport, I chanced upon a SPA parlor within the airport called "Back to Life". It caught my attention. Turned my head and chuckled. But deep inside, yes…that's it. I'm back to life. I'm going to take it slow because I know that I know I'm going to find myself somewhere…somehow.

Sun, Sea, Sand and Chicklit

Getting ready for the beach? Hold on a second. Before you leave, check all your stuff in your duffel bag first. If you think that you got all your beach paraphernalia-sun cream SPF 30, bikini, tanning oil, shampoo, conditioner, aloe after sun gel packed in and you figured that something is still missing, and then take a one more look. You may be missing the most important stuff that will keep you company during your sun worshipping moment - a book.

For those ladies who bask clutching a romance comedy novel ( or for those of you who consider romance novel as an item that you will not be caught without aside from your iPod), here are some good beach read that I highly recommend. Amusing, charming, sparkling with wit and humor all in one is all what you need to keep you entertained you while getting your sun kissed bronze.

Here's the list:

Chasing Harry Winston- Lauren Weisberger
Everyone Worth Knowing – Lauren Weisberger
Certain Girls – Jennifer Weiner
Shopaholic Series – Sophie Kinsella
Something Borrowed- Emily Griffin
Baby Proof – Emily Griffin
Eat, Love and Pray – Elizabeth Gilbert
The Art of French Kissing –Kristin Harmel
Rise and Shine – Anna Quindlen
Belong to Me – Marissa De Los Santos
Beyond the Blonde – Kathleen Flynn Hui
The Diplomatic Corpse – Anne Marshall Zwack
Dot.Homme – Jane Moore

There are heaps of titles of other Chick lit books that are out there in your local bookstore. But the ones I've mentioned above are the ones that I can give my thumbs up. Whether you're going on an island hopping or simply plunked down on a hammock under a coconut tree, take one of these books on your summer jaunt.

Oh and don't forget your IPod too.

Have a great summer!

Croatia's Smoking Ban Takes Off and Takes Ashtrays Away

Stop Smoking- the staunch slogan of the Croatian Government slammed against "Stop Smoking Ban" clamor of coffee shop owners after the Croatian government implemented its strict law against smoking on indoor public places on May 6, 2009.

The government is bent to execute strict "No Smoking" law to safeguard the physical health and well being of Croatian nationals from the hazards of smoking. Prior to the new law, the government's media propaganda against smoking apparently, did not create much of an impact- thus, had fallen into deaf ears.Restaurants, coffee shops, ice-cream parlors and malls from run-of-the- mill to high end food service joints were filled with employees taking a break from work, friends engaging in a tête-à-tête, football aficionados, coffee drinkers including mothers with tag- along -babies in strollers.

These coffee shops habitués either active or passive smokers, oblivious to the dangers of smoking frequent to the coffee shops at any time of the day as part of their daily routine schedule.However, on the 6th of May 2009, the Croatian government blew its whistle and put a big stop sign to smoking. As the law stipulates -those who are caught smoking in an indoor public place shall be slapped with 1000 Kuna fine for smoker and 15,000 Kuna for business owner to ensure that Croatian public knows that the government means business this time (no pun intended.)

Since the Croatian government guards public places keenly watching for smokers who consist of more than half of the coffee shops' costumers started to wane their regular visits to coffee shops for their daily fresh espresso and cigarette ritual. Thereby, sudden drops of profit sales have recently been the cause of ire of food service entrepreneurs that consequently precipitated a protest among coffee shops owners and restaurateurs requesting the government to relax the smoking ban law.

During the first month after the law was strictly enforced, the once smoke filled coffee shops are not only devoid of smoke but with customers as well. It's an awful scenario to see coffee shops with empty seats throughout the day.To cope up with the sudden drop of sales, coffee shop owners opened the backdoor terrace or provided an open air make shift terrace or pitched small umbrella tables along the street curbs just so as not to lose old coffee shop patrons. The temporary resolution of setting up an open air smoking venue to regular coffee shop habitués is akin to putting on a band-aid to a big economic wound to stop the momentary financial bleeding.

The coffee shops' nightmare has started to be felt during this early summer days when occasional rain showers and cold breeze prevent customers to sit in the terrace.
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Recently, it was reported that a significant number of coffee shops and restaurants have already closed down due to the unexpected plummeting profit sales. Subsequently, the whirlwind effect of unemployment of wait-staff whose salaries could not be sustained by their employers is becoming a serious problem.It is a known fact that smoking causes 95% mortality rate due to lung cancer as verified by Dr. Desmond Carney, Oncologist and Secretary General of the International Association of Lung Cancer in Dublin.

The European Union Commission has made a giant step to create a conscious effort to promote a strong general awareness among EU member states by imposing tighter rules about smoking.Hence, the complete makeover of Europe's image as an erstwhile smoking haven now is heading towards a smoke free zone. Ireland initially banned smoking in 2004 followed by Italy, Sweden, Malta, Estonia, Finland, Germany, France and Hungary (not necessarily in this order.)

Clearly, the effect of the banning of smoking is helping the prevention of the spread of lung cancer among Croatians. However, alongside with that, it is now building up symptoms of economic cancer especially during the rainy months of autumn and cold winter months where people would prefer to stay indoors drinking hot coffee rather than stay in terraces.The idea whether the government would give in to the food service entrepreneurs' lament of relaxing the smoking ban is still hazy at the moment.

It's still too early to say at this point. Who knows? This could be an advent of embracing new coffee drinking habit of taking "coffee to go" clutching coffee mugs to work giving Starbucks,Costa Coffee, Peets Coffee and Tea and Caribou a fair chance to compete in the Croatian coffee market.The owners' petition to establish categories among coffee shops whether smoking or non-smoking has already reached the government. Whether the government considers it seriously or flexes its muscles or plays arm wrestling, the response to their plea is well much anticipated. In the meantime, coffee buffs continue to sip their hot espresso and puffs their cigarettes on warm sunny days in open air terraces and enjoying the feeling while it lasts.