Accessory Anonymous

For women like me who have been hooked on accessories, who never forget to buy a piece or two every time I go out for just window shopping (even  during a self imposed strict rule of no buying for now) this habit could be addictive. In the same way as one gets hooked on alcohol and cigarettes when one promises that this drink or this stick is the last. Ofcourse, it never happens. Once my eyes  fancy on something that sparkles and something that I think would complement one of my attire that I plan to wear for the week, then that accessory beckoning me from afar will already be in my purse in less than an hour.

 May it be a pair of earrings, necklace, bangles or a hair clip as long as it makes me wear something new for the day, I'd jump on it in a heartbeat. I knew that I needed some kind of rehabilitation or more like AA meeting ( Accessory Anonymous) where I'd introduce myself as "Hi my name is Joy. I am an accessory addict." In as much as I wanted to be healed in this area, I couldn't do so as there is no such thing as accessory rehabilitation center and perhaps other women suffering from this type of addiction would be embarrassed to reply "Hi Joy." No woman, in the right frame of mind would admit that she's hooked on the same accessory addiction problem. I think I am the only stupid one who admits this.

 After amassing tons of accessories over time, I wonder what would I do with this pile of dusty rainbow colored personal tinsels that I only used up once or twice  sitting in the four drawers of my closet -valueless and yet I'm still holding on to them like my life depends on it.

My accessories which I consider my personal valueless treasures remind me of how many times I feel good about myself. The joyful moments when I feel so ecstatic about a new event in my life or an expected blessing or just merely feeling accomplished after a regular smooth day at work. The happier I am the more I accessorize. It's weird. Isn't it? But everybody has its own quirks.  Unfortunately, this is my version.

Please don't judge. And I won't judge yours too. Now that as I was doing a summer  holiday  tidying up time, I thought of tossing those that are not used up for long time. But on second thought,

as I was sorting them out, I  vividly remembered the event when I was inspired to pick a pair of turquoise earrings that match with my light blue top that goes perfectly well with my jeweled turquoise bracelet. It goes with the memory that touched my mind that I wore these when I got the job in one of the schools I used to work before.

 The double strand of pearl necklace flashed back memories of my wedding day. In  the same token as  my gold cross necklace reminded me back when I went to the court for my divorce. The apple green pair of dangling earrings was with me when I tripped over and sprained my ankle which losing a pair of earrings was more of my concern than breaking a leg.

As valueless as they may seem because they are not as real as J-Lo's stunning 18 k Emerald Diamond ring, I realized that they are not that valueless at all. They are reminiscent of the monumental events, happy times and missteps I made over the past literally and figuratively speaking.

Clearly, these valueless possessions are not actually good-for-nothing but to accessorize my wardrobe purposes only. They are priceless not because they match with the wardrobe but they refresh memories of my past. And as it turns out, these are the most valuable possession I've got.

So, at this point , I am saying my own version of the Serenity Prayer that goes like this. I am asking God to grant me the serenity to keep the accessories that I can't toss away. The courage to change  old accessories that have been sitting in my drawer for ages. And the wisdom to know the difference between quality accessories and those that are not.

Then I think I will be Ok with one accessory at a time. :)

Things That Matter Most

We usually thank God for healing of physical ailment when our situation seems hopeless, recovery from an addiction when we hit rock bottom, a bright sunny day after long successive months of bitter cold winter, a roof over our heads when we're tired of being a temporary couch resident in a friend's house, food on the table when the fridge is almost empty, meeting a lifetime partner when several relationships failed and ofcourse extra cash for shopping when all bills are paid.

Beyond our basic needs, we tend to overlook at other significant things like doors of opportunities that He opened for us unexpectedly,  people we meet along the way that touch our hearts and  chances we take that didn't make us fall over the cliff.

However, there are things, that are more significant that we take for granted and yet, things that matter most that somehow is greater than the basic needs we often worry about. Here are what I personally count as small blessings and yet important as breathing fresh air.

I'm grateful to God for the golden sound of silence during my alone time  while I amble my  way to work, lounging in armchair in the comfort of my home , the short naps that rejuvenate my energy all throughout the day. The solitude I find when running 5 kms along the busy road, the soft summer breeze that makes the trees sway, a canopy of dainty pink cherry blossoms that brighten up my day, the whiff of freshly baked bread,the loud screams of happy children playing in the garden, the sunrise that reminds me of a new beginning and the sunset that assures that everything has an end and a new day is coming.

These precious moments are ethereal. The alone time that I snatch from my busy schedule gives me the chance to rethink about God's goodness and how His saving grace carried me out from a -would-have-been-catastrophic  repercussions of wrong decisions in the past. God is amazing.

 He always gives us reason to go back to Him  to give Him back the glory for His greatness whether it's the magnificent beauty of nature, a new job or just simply the priceless moments of silence that connects my soul to my maker at any time of the day.

How about you? What do you thank God for?

Love.... Me, I and Myself

Love is not all about sharing romantic moments with your special someone. It's ideal that you get a bunch of red roses, chocolates , having candle light dinner then making love to your partner till the break of dawn or even after that.

But for those who don't have anybody to share these picture perfect moments with on Valentine's Day, don't fret not just because you are not in any kind of a relationship. Valentine's Day is not only about  loving others. It' is also about loving yourself.

Take time to appreciate your accomplishments. Not only in terms of professional achievements and the amount of work you did for the week, months and even for the year. But how you thrive or even just survived the feat against the challenges of life. From losing a couple of weight  gain, to normalizing your life after a break up or quitting smoking is a moment to celebrate yourself.

I know of an old friend of mine who buys herself red roses on Valentine's Day because she feels like she deserves it. And argued vehemently that she doesn't want to wait for a man to give flowers to her.

 Right, she is. There is no limitations as to how you can make yourself happy. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know what will make your day or what will put a big smile on your pretty face.

 Treat yourself for a spa or an out of town trip or even watch a movie at home or at the cinema or simply pour a glass of wine and worry about getting tipsy later. Who cares about getting tipsy on a Friday night, anyway?

Be kind to yourself. You are your self's best friend. You can't love your future partner if you don't know how to love yourself.

As for me, I just prized myself for a quick run today. I breezed through a 6 km run feeling the fresh wind touched my face on a 14 C temperature. Endorphins that kicked in soon after made it so much better. My spirit soared and left me  feeling  good , energetic and joyful throughout the day.

What I feel inside will manifest with how I look on the outside.  I did this because I love myself. If I can do it, you can do it too.

 Nobody would love yourself better than you do.

Happy Love Month!

Happy New YOU!

 

You must be bracing yourself for the fireworks, parties and toasting at the end of the year.  But I know more than that, you are now mapping out the self evolution plan that you'd wish to happen in your life next year. New Year's Resolution is the most popular word every 31st of December.  Everyone  musters courage to make a long list of what to change in themselves for the next year. All of us want a brand new ME. To stop smoking, to stop drinking, to be more proactive, to live healthy- these are all some of the I-promise-to-do- next year in an audacious attempt to turn a new leaf. But the term New Year's Resolution can be too limited and short lived ( admit it or not.) And no guarantee of a metamorphosis happening,though sometimes, it beckons in the beginning. And yet like a tired voice it trails off as you go farther away.

I'm not implying that New Year's Resolution is a misnomer. But  the term has received a lot of beatings already since it has become disrespected, crashed, overused and abused. Plus the term itself is like a taser that sends some kind of small doses of electricity to your psychological mind which puts a lot self pressure once you revert back to your old habits not to mention that the voltage of electricity increases once guilt feelings set in.

Truthfully, who remembers your air tight promises for your New Year's Resolution in April? August? or even in October? This is why I swept out the term New Year's Resolution in favor of self evolution-a term that I deem is more appropriate, long lasting, result related and brings a transformation of a new self.

Just think about how you would want to repackage yourself for the coming year. Don't sweat it out for now. You still have until midnight of the 31st of December to ruminate about how to evolve into a new you this 2014. To help you  define your  self-evolution goals this coming year, I have gathered some terms which might enlighten you up  or give you an idea where to start. If anything else, at least remind you that there are such words exist in the dictionary. All you have to do is to use it in your new life. 

 

Here it goes:

regroup, decompress, refocus, realign, transformation, renew, redesign, replan, redefine, relive, recreate, rejuvenate, restart, resolve, rekindle, rebuild, redo, recovery, restoration, revive, reaffirm, reawaken, reestablish and change. I can go on and on until I use up all the words from my best friends- Thesaurus and Webster. If you have more in mind, write them down, the more  words the happier your new self will be.

Most of the words listed above begin with the prefix re which means to do it again. Clearly, we all may have accomplished these actions before but it isn't bad to do it all over again for the betterment of ourselves.  Nobody stops us to give it another shot. After all, the new year is all about rebirth and not to get stuck up with the old ways and habits we intend to leave behind.

And if just in case the message of this blog isn't clear enough? Feel free to reread it. It won't hurt to do it all over again.

Happy New Year! A brand new YOU is about to begin. Let's start now.

J