Thursday, August 15, 2013

Is Chivalry a Dead Sport?

If you date a man who doesn’t open the door for you or offer you a jacket when it’s cold, then that’s the least of your worry. In this day and age, men offering small sweet gestures like escorting a woman or calling you when he says he will is a rare commodity. Now a days men would let you pay for a dinner date or a drink or asks for money or walk a meter ahead of you in the street.

Now, am I living in a fairy tale where I expect knights in shining armor rescuing a princess from the top window of a castle or am I just stuck up in the 80s where men are more conscious about treating women with tenderness, respect and love to win their hearts.

What is happening to the world now?  Why are men brazen enough to display abrasive and crude behavior towards women? Is it us, women who spoil them too much to keep men in our lives? Or is chivalry really a dead sport that no man plays anymore?

Based on real life experiences that I have gathered from my female friends all over the world who dated all types of men coming from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds, their stories point out to one direction-lack of chivalry among men.

One lady complained of a boyfriend who doesn’t even offer to carry her grocery bags. One guy even didn’t pay for a lunch date and expected a lady to pay for it. While another chick said that she was even charged of a gas bill while she visited her on a trip to the US. My best friend’s boyfriend even didn’t pick her up at the airport at 2 am in the morning during a cold winter night because of no winter tires. My other girl friend’s boyfriend asked her to help him pay for his car bills. And my Indonesian colleague  was asked by her African bf to send him an Iphone for a present.  How about that?

I am sure there are some other horrible stories that are repulsive and turns off a woman as fast as turning off a light. Men may not be aware that some women like me are highly observant with small gestures of act of chivalry displayed during dates, courtship or when in a relationship. (This is something that I do intentionally to see my date's character.) And if he fails on one of my checklist, then he loses a brownie point in my book.

The movie with Mel Gibson “What Women Want” is exactly this- an act of chivalry done naturally and effortless without making it appear like rehearsed. It is only as simple as that. Women do not actually complicate things as men thought they do. If men are only aware that all we want is just to be treated well. Period.  If a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then a way to a woman’s heart is through the good old chivalry. 

Sad but true. The good old chivalry among men in this day and age is a rare commodity to find. You don’t see it much often unlike before. It’s like finding a real diamond among a cluster of  cheap crystal stones.  From a certain vantage point, they all look the same but the a real diamond has a distinctive brilliance that outshines the rest of the fake crystals.

If you find a man that treats you well now a days, celebrate and thank God for that. But if he goes out of his way to make you feel extra special and treat you like a queen, then  grab that man by the neck or by his balls and marry him or somebody else will.

Well, I will.