Saturday, November 30, 2013

When You're Desperate Or Not So Desperate To Find Mr. Right.

" Why can't I have a normal boyfriend? Just a regular boyfriend, one that doesn't go nuts on me!" Remember that line from the movie "As Good As It Gets?" That was Helen Hunt as Caroll Connely  who said it. One way or another,we all have this Caroll Conelly moments after several hit or miss attempts in finding Mr. Right. 

Sometimes you think that you got lucky enough and claim that you got the jackpot, "He's the one." Yes, I found the him. Then, few months after, you get the surprise of your life when you sulk in a corner sobbing or  whacking your head with the palm of your hand  "Damn, what was I thinking?" 

 Despite the potential Mr. Right's display of -he's- not- into- you- red- flag- sign, what's outrageous is that you still relentlessly float on cloud nine with your delusion that he's Mr. Right for you.
Now what were you really thinking?

Pursuing a relationship with Mr. Wrong (who according to your delusion is Mr. Right) is like jumping in a murky water and expect that water is safe enough to drink. Now let me ask you again, what were you really thinking?

 I know that all of us make bad choices or simply choices that we thought are good for us but eventually turned out bad choices just the same. Nobody is exempted. I'm guilty as charged (not once not twice but for the umpteenth time. Yes, I'm an experienced pro on this one.)

 But choices made out of sheer desperation and impulsiveness to find Mr. Right is downright pathetic and a sign of hopelessness beckoning. And yet most of you consciously or unconsciously do because you are desperate to find Mr. Right.

For various reasons, whether out of self pressure or peer pressure or because of feeling of bereft, you do things that are out of your character  just to turn your personal love conquest  into a fairy tale romance spruced up with happily ever after ending.

Unfortunately, finding the elusive Mr. Right is like shooting your target in a pitch dark room where you'll surely end up missing more than hitting the target. Even if you ask a fairy godmother to twirl her magic wand and send you Mr. Right knocking at your door with a bunch of pretty red roses, it's still not going to happen unless the timing is right.You want that man so badly and you convince  yourself and justify that he's the one when your wit  and gut feel agree that he's not.
 So you push to the limit to please him. Call him incessantly. Send IM messages every hour. Check his FB activities ( almost like stalking him) stressing out waiting for his call and reply on your countless messages. Before you know it, there goes your self-respect and dignity down the drain. 

Now, tell me, is it really worth it? Seriously? I don't think so. Realistically, the flow of nature directs you that the more you push it to happen the more it's not going to happen. Whatever you do to lure him in your arms  if he is not into you, you'll end up being frustrated and broken hearted.  

I'm not saying that you give up in finding Mr. Dream Man. The author of the book "A Bride for Mr. Darcy" Mary Lyndon Simonsen imaginatively claimed “‎There is nothing sweeter than finding the right person to love and cherish and to share your hopes and dreams with.”

 I agree. But going overboard is a different story. Don't just grab the wrong man just because you're impatient to wait for God's special gift for you. Never compromise and let your guard down at any point. That's when you start losing your self respect and self-worth.
Love yourself first. Loving yourself will give you a stronger leverage to bargain yourself with the man you're longing for. When you are not afraid to conquer life on your own, your value increases twice as much. There's no need to worry about Mr. Beautiful. He's as anxious as you are in finding the right one for him.
 Trust me. God is a great match maker. He knows who's the perfect one for you. However, He wants you to be perfect for him too. So start taking care of your beautiful self so you will be capable of loving your future man. You are worthy way more than what you think. Your value is priceless.  And you deserve a priceless value too.

When the time is right, you'll be amazed that a magical force will bring Mr. Beautiful to you unexpectedly sweeping you off your feet as forest  flowers unfold it's natural beauty. You won't need an alignment of stars or throw coins to make your wish come true. 

 Not unless you're wishing for a normal boyfriend. But be as it may, it's still thousand times worth the wait.