Sunday, March 8, 2009

What Was I Thinking?!

I hope that there’s a tv show that features how people fumble showcasing everyday’s awkward, unconcious moments of silly, stupid and clumsy mistake, if there’s a tv show just exactly like that? - I think I could be their main star of the show. Mind you, not a regular guest but a main star of the show. And if there is a show similar to that that I don’t know about, producers should contact me immediately as I can give their show the highest rating ever.

Today, I’m going to boldly admit a blunder that I did to myself (thank God that no persons or animals got involved!) the unthinkable and almost bordering to qualify in “Beyond Bizarre” tv series.

I screwed up my age.

How is that possible? Here’s how I did my preposterous unfathomable blooper. As I was reading the news about the famous rapper in the Philippines Francis M. who died at the age of 44 born in 1964. I was gobsmacked by two things, his untimely death and as my eyes scrolled down the text, my eyes gawked on the birthyear 1964.

I muttered while reading word for word: born in 1964- died 2009.
Born in 1964 means 44 years of age. I was born in 1962 then that makes me 46 years old? But why the heck have I been saying all through out the time that I’m 48 years old?

Ok I’ve to admit that my heart stopped beating for a second followed by shrieks and screams- my initial violent reactions to this new discovery which was not supposed to be called a discovery as our ages are supposed to be a common information that we should know instinctively like our names. But knowing that I’m just 46 and turning 47 this June, my birthday is like winning a free ride to a time machine travelling two years back.

All along, I have considered myself, a 48 year old pushing fifty lady getting prepped up with menopausal blues, knees woobling with fear that at any time, onset of wrinkles will be more evident and getting into contemplation of hiring a cosmetic surgeon for a possible tummy tuck (or maybe not.) Entering the age of a golden girl (turning 50s) apparently is giving me a scare for some reasons. Beats me. I don’t know why.

Ok I know that Math is not one my strongest points, as a matter of fact, my mathematical ability is no better than gradeschool level. Unfortunately, it stopped right there and never moved on to the first year highschool level until now.

This is why my dependence on Brenda, my sister’s mathematical prowess as a banker to do basic computations for me is like depending on IV fluid when you’re hospitalized. Most of the mathematical equations that I am only able to do are too basic that my gradeschool nephews and nieces would gleefully solve for me. But calculating my age? This should be the only Mathematical addition that I should know, right? And yet I failed ( ofcourse!)

Probably, the fear of facing the big 5-0 has become a furtive reason for my unconcious stress or concern psychologically that I have been hiding since a year ago. Bearing 48 years old as my official age ( before this discovery)in mind, I have already listed down my plans of what to do before I reach 50, places to see, books to write, clothes to wear before I settle with the 50’sh style, rushed to diversify my career, announced on facebook, tbd and other social networking circles that I’m just two years away from being a golden girl.

Sheesh, what the heck was I thinking!

The usual common cases of people is not to realize that they are older than they thought. But in my quaint case, two years younger is an appalling yet an astounding blunder that I welcome as the greatest news happened in my life.

Two years younger means more time to take things in stride, a delay appearance of wrinkles
(not just yet), dismissing the thought of consulting a cosmetic surgeon for advice and changing my age profile on facebook ,TBD, Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, Friendster and shouting to the whole world : hey, due to the malfunction of the mathematical side of my brain, I miscalculated my age and I officially declare that I’m only 46 not 48 as previously declared.

Though shooting the 50’s is not far from now (ok I refuse to say three years from now as I might miscalculate again!). I know I’m getting there. But no- not just yet. I still got 2 or 3 years to go? Am I right? Aahh never mind, the important thing is, I still have time.


SHELTON said...

Wow, what were you thinking? I admit that at first I thought, "Oh, big deal, probably just a little preoccupied, but then I thought,"hey, what "woman" has any concept of "adding" years to her age???" Hmmm...I don't know what you were thinking, but it musta been a doosie!!!

Anonymous said...

Frankly my dear ... you look like 30 -- are you sure you got your birth date right :-) ?

Anonymous said...

What were you thinking-the older you are the wiser you are,ha?!
Need math tutoring-grade 2 level.
But,we still love you-even if you are 50 +.
Guess who...

Anonymous said...

46 or 48, my dear... what's to say but "been there, done that" :-)
Forget the body age, it's the mind that counts. I am always reminded of an excellent saying by J.P.Donleavy:
"Being old is not nice but you can take solace in the fact that it won't be so for a long time..."

Anonymous said...

I think your age goes backwards. Last year you thought you were turning to 48 but actually you turned to 46.

i,e. ''Curious case of Benjamin Button''